I successfully completed 2 out of 3 pranks....and I'll take that success rate. Before I describe these pranks in painful detail, there are a few things that you may or may not know about Kimi that you must understand to appreciate these. First, she is ridiculously afraid of spiders....not the normal spiders are "icky and gross" kind of afraid....I'm talking....screaming, standing on a chair, freaking out, and not moving till I come kill the spider, kind of afraid. Oh and heaven forbid if the spider somehow escapes out of view....that side of the house becomes uninhabitable for days. Watching her picking up a towel in our laundry "basement" is like watching someone disarming a mine...she's afraid that a spider is going to scurry off when she lifts it up. As funny and as cute as all this seems, either she has me fooled, or she really is deathly afraid and I usually have to do things that she will refuse to do. For example....if we need anything from the basement such as our luggage, coolers, any box, I have to go and inspect it and bring it up to her and present it as "clean". Well today was my day to get her back.
The other thing you need to know about Kimi is that she MUST apply lotion to her entire body IMMEDIATELY after she exits the shower or her skin will apparently flake off. I don't actually know why she does it and she doesn't really know why she does it but all she knows is that it MUST take place. Well, she wishes she didn't have that OCD tendency now.
Prank #1: Success. Early this morning I looked for something I could make to resemble a spider. I cut part of a banana peel into the shape of a spider. I broke up toothpicks to create nice looking spider legs and attached them to the banana peel. I used a sharpie to color it all black. I was actually pleasantly surprised that it looked something like a spider. I placed it next to the drain of our shower. Kimi, I'm sure groggily pulled back the shower curtain and FREAKED OUT. I wasn't there but I'm sure Trey is traumatized from the screams. It took her a long time to look again. Once she was sure it was an April Fools joke she showered....leaving the fake spider in the drain and refusing to look down at it again.
(It doesn't really look too much like a spider after it had sat through a shower)
Prank #2: Success. Early this morning I took her massive bottle of lotion and emptied it. (I washed it completely out to make sure there was no lotion left). I cut the corner of a Ziploc bag that I had filled with Mayonnaise. I squeezed the mayo into her lotion bottle and returned it to her normal location.
Kimi applied two......that is right, two full squeezes of mayo to her arms and body before she realized something was wrong. Kimi said she "wondered why it was lathering so weirdly". She also said she will never be able to handle the smell of Mayo again. Kimi opened up a new bottle of face lotion and deodorant claiming her current ones "smelled funny". I did not mess with either of them. She also claims mayo is almost as difficult to get off as vaseline.
Prank #3: Failure: I tried to tape some plastic to our kitchen faucet with an opening towards the operator so when the water was turned on it sprayed out. Apparently it didn't work so well.
Kimi may or may not have send some very angry text messages to me this morning containing some choice words. Personally I feel like it has been a great April Fools Day. I have had a good run the past few years and you can read about them here, here, and here. I don't know how I'm going to keep this up. Until next year.... -Jeff
11 comments:
I don't know if I should show any evidence of laughter for fear of getting in trouble... ;)
I'm sorry Kimi, the mayo thing is disgusting! I would have been ticked too. I would have started gagging!!
The spider one though, I will admit I laughed at that. Or possibly more so Jeff's description of your fear because it was spot on! (the towel shaking - HAHAHA! I can totally picture it in my brain) Oh and how you called the house uninhabitable - classic. Well done Jeff. (I remember the spider killing was my responsibility a time or two before you came along)
Poor Kim, you will be living in fear every April 1st for the rest of your life!
LOL!
Jeff, you are mean! At least April Fools day is only once a year, right Kimi?
Okay so I really did laugh at this, but Kimi your husband is EVIL! So mean! I'm sorry you have to live through April Fools day! I'd leave his presence for that day for sure and not tell him where your going. Good luck next year!
oh my goodness. you really went to a lot of work this year. i too have the OCD of lathering lotion on the minute i'm out of the shower so i can totally sympathize with that. but spiders to me are manageable. snakes on the other hand make me scream and jump on a chair. so after hearing about the cobra escaping from the bronx zoo, i've had nightmares all week! at least snakes are least likely to be seen in our home than spiders. at least in utah. if we lived in lousianna, then it would be a different story.
Oh my gosh Kimi that is too funny!! Good job Jeff... those were awesome pranks.
Kimi, I think you need to start now working with Angie to get Jeff next year. She will guide you in the ways to get back at that husband of yours! And you could have quite a treasure trove of trick up you sleeve!
nice work :)
as a fellow spider hater, I feel Kimi's pain....
I was waiting for this post, so funny! But only b/c it didn't happen to me. That mayo thing was really gross though.
Most excellent.
kimi, you need to learn to get him back, we will discuss your options.
jeff, the lotion thing is dead on with her. I mean i am a freak with putting on lotion but kimi is a freeeeak. she literally takes 15 min to put it on every single spot on her body, so i can only imagine how pissed she would have been putting on mayo. If i were in her shoes i would have been pissed.
the spider thing, way funny. i can't believe you took the time to make one. very creative
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